The Church of the Quivering Otter: The Treasured Writings


The Treasured Writings


The Treasured Writings, created over the span of 6 years by Our Founder, represent the beliefs of members of The Church of the Quivering Otter. Many followers believe much more than is found in The Treasured Writings, but COQO neither officially condemns or condones such thoughts.

Following below are some excerpts from The Treasured Writings.


THE NINE BASIC SUGGESTIONS
1. Thou shalt deal fairly.
2. Thou shalt share.
3. Thou shalt do unto others and all that.
6. Thou shalt eat plenty of fibre.
4. Thou shalt get regular checkups.
5. Thou shalt smile.
7. Thou shalt floss between meals.
8. Thou shalt look both ways before crossing.
9. Thou shalt play nice.

THE BOOK OF THE OCEANS
"And so unto the masses spake the Otter, ``Your fur is long and your bellies are full of fish. Go, now, unto your children. Teach them the ways of the Otter that they may be similarly comfy.''"
THE BOOK OF THE KELP BEDS
"To the Lawyers shall come the Infinite Annoyances, and to the Insurance Adjustors, and to the IRS Agents, and to the Meter Maids, and to the Sysadmins, but the Flight Attendants shall be spared for their service is pleasant and their manners are fine.
Otters are great.

Copyright (C) 1996, 1997 by Kevin Kelm & Nick King