COQO Monks living high in the mountains of Peru have mastered the art of foretelling the future by watching the dance of bubbles in their Diet Coke(tm). A twist of lime helps.

Among their shocking revelations:

• It will come to pass that a man will cough, and so will end the world.
• When the leaves of spring fall, the window will be open.
• Mean people suck.
• On the third rising of the second moon of the first year of Balzador, the Twins of Malanos will be born.
• The Great Upheaval is near.

Most of us don't really know what they're on about, but it sounds good.